Quotes, you wont be caught dead hanging.. :)

I dont know whats with me today, but my love for quotes is all coming back... I enjoy quotes that drives the spirit, fires the passions, or make us fart in laughter.. I just hope my own quotes can be used in some significant way some day.. ( except for law suits). hehehehhehe

now I quote:


“I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.”
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“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
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“You are what you eat.....I'm a cunt!”
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"I'm still an atheist, thank God!"
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"Funerals and Weddings have a similarity; at a funeral there's one person who's fucked and at a wedding there are two."
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"On TV, the commercial says that 8 out of 10 people suffer from hemorrhoids. Does this mean the other 2 people enjoy them?"
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"There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages."
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"I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires."
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“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize”
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